The University of Life

My nephew graduated from high school this year and will be heading off to start college at Texas A&M next month  - Gig ‘em, Aggies!  His impending departure got me thinking back on my college years at the University of Texas.  Not only was college a ton of fun, but I learned some very important things, too.   Nope, I’m not talking about Accounting 101 here.  I’m talking life lessons.  Such as:

1.        Never bail a boyfriend out of jail. 

2.       Penicillin cures a remarkable range of health issues.

3.       If it burns going down, it’ll burn just as bad coming back up.

4.       Get to the nightclubs before 9 pm to avoid the cover charge.

5.       Never take a class from a professor whose name you can’t pronounce. 

6.       If you find a parking spot on campus, it’s sure to be reserved, handicapped only, or in a loading zone.

7.        Leftover pizza can sit out unrefrigerated for exactly thirty-six hours, twenty-eight minutes, and fifty-three seconds before the bacteria count reaches critical mass.

8.       It’s easier to hide a stray kitten in your dorm room than you might think.

9.       Nyquil is the antidote to NoDoz.

10.   Never take the stairs in an all-male dorm. Don’t take the elevator either.  In fact, stay away from the boys’ dorms entirely.

11.   Five am on Saturday morning is the only time you’ll find the dorm’s washer and dryer not already in use.